- Who it is for
- Adults and adolescents
- Format
- In person (Istanbul) · Online
How difficulties with self-esteem and confidence arise
A person’s beliefs about themselves are mostly shaped by early life experiences, relationships and the feedback they have received. Beliefs such as “I’m not good enough”, “I have to succeed to be loved” or “other people’s needs matter more than mine” can settle in over time and affect how a person sees themselves, their decisions and their relationships.
These beliefs often work without being noticed: successes are played down, mistakes are magnified, and criticism easily turns into a judgement about who you are.
How it can show itself
- Thoughts of inadequacy and worthlessness
- Constantly criticising yourself, playing down your successes
- A strong need for other people’s approval and admiration
- Being unable to say no, difficulty expressing what you want
- Taking on too much responsibility, taking on other people’s problems
- Being unable to express anger or hurt when your boundaries are crossed
- Holding back from new situations and opportunities
How we address it in therapy
In work based on Cognitive Behavioural Therapy:
- We notice beliefs about yourself: We look together at where thoughts of inadequacy and worthlessness come from and how they work in daily life.
- We look at the evidence: We review together the experiences that support and do not support these beliefs, and develop a more balanced view.
- We work with self-criticism: We aim to notice the way you talk to yourself and to develop a more supportive inner voice.
- We build boundary-setting skills: We practise expressing needs and boundaries clearly, respectfully and firmly in sessions, and try it step by step in daily life.
When to seek support
If negative thoughts about yourself are limiting your decisions, relationships or working life, if you notice you constantly put other people’s needs before your own, or if you feel intense guilt when you try to set boundaries, talking to a mental health professional can help.
Frequently asked questions
Are self-esteem and self-confidence the same thing?
They are related but not the same. Self-confidence mostly refers to trust in your own abilities in particular areas, while self-esteem describes how you see yourself and whether you value yourself, regardless of your successes or failures.
Is saying no selfish?
No. Setting boundaries means taking your own needs and capacity into account, and it is part of healthy relationships. When boundaries are expressed clearly and respectfully, they often strengthen relationships.
If I stop criticising myself, won't I lose my motivation?
This is a common worry. Harsh self-criticism can look like a driving force in the short term, but it often increases anxiety, procrastination and a sense of inadequacy. The aim is not to give up your standards but to build a more balanced relationship with yourself.
This page is general information and is not a diagnosis, assessment or substitute for therapy. If you or someone else is in danger, call 112 in Türkiye or your local emergency number.